The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. ~Jason Love


It takes 8;460 bolts to assemble an automobile; and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~Author Unknown


A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank. ~Author Unknown


We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly; courteous; and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us. ~Cary T. Grayson


Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~Lewis Mumford


Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared. ~Robbins B. Stoeckel


The automobile has not merely taken over the street; it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked; it devours urban land; leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic. ~James Marston Fitch; New York Times; 1 May 1960


I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown


The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating collisions between propelled vehicles; each on its own side of the road; each sounding its horn; and each stationary. ~An English Lord Chief Justice; quoted in 2;715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers; Writers & Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy


It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement; New York Times; 25 February 1990


A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. ~Bill Vaughan


What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching?? ~Samuel Hoffenstein


Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary


Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. ~Author Unknown


The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling board; but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same. ~Charles M. Allen


I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. ~Author Unknown


The longest journey begins with a single step; not with a turn of the ignition key. ~Edward Abbey


Leave sooner; drive slower; live longer. ~Author Unknown


A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once; and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries


When buying a used car; punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll; there's a good chance the transmission is shot. ~Larry Lujack


Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways. ~Marlen E. Pew


"Consider the man on horseback; and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well; mostly he is a good man; but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man; however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you; it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it; the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities; false opulence of suburbs; ruinized countryside; and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant. ~R.A. Lafferty; ""Interurban Queen;"" 1970; a short story set in the late 1800s? (Thanks; Sam!)"


The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. ~Dudley Moore


I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas; people behind me stop; and I'm gone. ~Steven Wright


"The one thing that unites all human beings; regardless of age; gender; religion; economic status or ethnic background; is that; deep down inside; we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. ~Dave Barry; ""Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"""


Life is too short for traffic. ~Dan Bellack


A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. ~American Proverb


You can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamn contraption and walk; better yet crawl; on hands and knees; over the sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail; you'll see something; maybe. ~Edward Abbey


Remember folks; street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels


Driving a brand new car feels like driving around in an open billfold with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window. ~Grey Livingston


The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual; his shrine to the self; his mobile Walden Pond. ~Edward McDonagh





I represent what is left of a vanishing race; and that is the pedestrian.... That I am still able to be here; I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday. ~Will Rogers


The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie Altito


Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly


"Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic; a dope fiend; a wife beater; and even a newspaperman; but if a man doesn't drive; there is something wrong with him. ~Art Buchwald; ""How Un-American Can You Get?;"" Have I Ever Lied to You?; 1966"


You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~Author Unknown


Remember the street car cannot turn out. ~Charles M. Hayes


Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer to drive to work. ~Author Unknown


The car has become the carapace; the protective and aggressive shell; of urban and suburban man. ~Marshall McLuhan; Understanding Media


If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end; it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson


The speedway ends at the cemetery. ~Author Unknown


Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. ~Author Unknown


Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. ~Will Rogers


Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!? ~Dr. Paul MacCready;?Jr.


Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities. ~Lewis Mumford


Every time I see an adult on a bicycle; I no longer despair for the future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells


The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain; unclad; and incomplete. ~Marshall McLuhan; Understanding Media; 1964


If everything comes your way; you are in the wrong lane. ~Author Unknown


Two wrongs don't make a right; but three lefts do. ~Jason Love


No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means. ~Garrett Hardin; The Ecologist; February 1974


Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein


Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety. ~Australian Traffic Rule; quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren


Everything in life is somewhere else; and you get there in a car. ~E.B. White; One Man's Meat; 1943


"The civilized man has built a coach; but has lost the use of his feet. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson; ""Self-Reliance;"" 1841"


I'm not sure... about automobiles.... With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization - that is; in spiritual civilization. It may be that they will not add to the beauty of the world; nor to the life of men's souls. I am not sure. But automobiles have come; and they bring a greater change in our life than most of us suspect. They are here; and almost all outward things are going to be different because of what they bring. They are going to alter war; and they are going to alter peace. I think men's minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles; just how; though; I could hardly guess. But you can't have the immense outward changes that they will cause without some inward ones; and it may be that... the spiritual alteration will be bad for us. Perhaps; ten or twenty years from now; if we can see the inward change in men by that time; I shouldn't be able to defend the gasoline engine; but would have to agree...that automobiles 'had no business to be invented.'? ~Eugene; from Booth Tarkington's The Magnificent Ambersons; 1918


A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man. ~Arnold Toynbee


Walking isn't a lost art - one must; by some means; get to the garage. ~Evan Esar


On the other hand; the Bible contains much that is relevant today; like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~Curtis McDougall


Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot; and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown


Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!? ~Author unknown; as seen on a shirt


Hug your kids at home; but belt them in the car. ~Author Unknown