The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~Andy Rooney


The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~Ambrose Bierce


"When a dog wants to hang out the ""Do Not Disturb"" sign; as all of us do now and then; he is regarded as a traitor to his species. ~Ramona C. Albert"


A dog teaches a boy fidelity; perseverance; and to turn around three times before lying down. ~Robert Benchley


Dogs are not our whole life; but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras


I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. ~Author Unknown


If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail. ~Fran Lebowitz


My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown


The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother - and they'll settle for a puppy every time. ~Winston Pendelton


The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go. ~Winston Churchill


When a man's best friend is his dog; that dog has a problem. ~Edward Abbey


A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ~Ogden Nash


Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car; in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. ~Dave Barry


I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. ~Will Rogers


If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection; you must be a cat. ~Author Unknown


My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton


The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven; not man's. ~Mark Twain; letter to W.D. Howells; 2 April 1899


The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. ~Margo Kaufman


When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf; and takes his dog along to see the sport; he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten. ~Robert M. Pirsig; Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat. ~Oxford Union Society; London; Rule?46


Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras


"I named my dog Stay so I can say; ""Come here; Stay. Come here; Stay.""? ~Steven Wright"


If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence; try ordering somebody else's dog around. ~Will Rogers


"Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity; Strength without Insolence; Courage without Ferocity; and all the Virtues of Man; without his Vices. This Praise; which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes; is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain; a Dog. ~George Gordon; Lord Byron; ""Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog"""


The dog is a yes-animal; very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man. ~Robertson Davies


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. ~Author Unknown


Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies. ~Gene Hill


Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. ~Franklin P. Jones


Dogs laugh; but they laugh with their tails. ~Max Eastman; Enjoyment of Laughter


I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively; and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes; but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes; but never a friend like that. ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth


If you think dogs can't count; try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret





Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning; but you must have a pond of water handy and a child; or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. ~Josh Billings


The dog is the only animal that has seen his god. ~Author Unknown


There is no faith which has never yet been broken; except that of a truly faithful dog. ~Konrad Lorenz


With the exception of women; there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog. ~Edward Jesse; Anecdote of Dogs


Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood; and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience. ~Jon Winokur


Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault; really. ~Agnes Sligh Turnbull


I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner


If your dog is fat; you're not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown


No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. ~Christopher Morley


The dog wags his tail; not for you; but for your bread. ~Portuguese Proverb


There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams


You ask of my companions. Hills; sir; and the sundown; and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings; because they know but do not tell. ~Emily Dickinson


Bulldogs are adorable; with faces like toads that have been sat on. ~Colette


Dogs; the foremost snobs in creation; are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger. ~Albert Payson Terhune


I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge; make love with no moral restraint; and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings; they need us to do their worrying. ~George Bird Evans; Troubles with Bird Dogs


In order to really enjoy a dog; one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. ~Edward Hoagland


No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses. ~Herman Melville; Redburn. His First Voyage; 1849


The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic. ~Henry Ward Beecher


They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself; and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. ~Jerome K. Jerome


You think dogs will not be in heaven?? I tell you; they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson


Children are for people who can't have dogs. ~Author Unknown


Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs. ~Jerome K. Jerome; Three Men in a Boat


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ~Rita Rudner


In the world which we know; among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species; there exists not one; excepting that of the dog; that ever gave a thought to the presence of man. ~Maurice Maeterlinck


One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. ~Author Unknown


The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you; but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler; Notebooks; 1912


To his dog; every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. ~Aldous Huxley


A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. ~Author Unknown


Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children; as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. ~Robert Benchley


From the dog's point of view; his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog. ~Mabel Louise Robinson


I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. ~Penny Ward Moser


Labradors [are] lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about; but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new; not a warning. ~Norman Strung


Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us; and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. ~Agnes Repplier


The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's. ~Polish Proverb


To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden; where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace. ~Milan Kundera


"A dog is not ""almost human"" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. ~John Holmes"


Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. ~Steve Bluestone


Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz


If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face; you should go home and examine your conscience. ~Woodrow Wilson


Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog; the scenery never changes. ~Lewis Grizzard





Properly trained; a man can be dog's best friend. ~Corey Ford


The more I see of man; the more I like dogs. ~Mme. de Sta


We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment. ~George Eliot


A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. ~O.A. Battista


Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~Sue Murphy


I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. ~G.K. Chesterton


If dogs could talk; it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. ~Andy Rooney


Man is a dog's idea of what God should be. ~Holbrook Jackson


Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. ~Franklin P. Jones


The more one gets to know of men; the more one values dogs. ~Alphonse Toussenel


When a dog barks at the moon; then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers; it is patriotism!? ~David Starr Jordan


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings


Dogs are miracles with paws. ~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy


I like a bit of mongrel myself; whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday. ~George Bernard Shaw


If dogs could talk; perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people. ~Karel ?apek


My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money. ~Joe Weinstein