"Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said; ""I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?""? ~Bill Watterson"


There's something about getting up at 5 a.m.; feeding the stock and chickens; and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs. ~Bill Vaughan


The human body has no more need for cows' milk than it does for dogs' milk; horses' milk; or giraffes' milk. ~Michael Klaper


Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. ~Mark Twain


Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. ~Proverb


I'd rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth. ~Paul Carvel


I go about looking at horses and cattle. They eat grass; make love; work when they have to; bear their young. I am sick with envy of them. ~Sherwood Anderson


Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. ~Dennis Wholey


Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. ~Fred Allen


All is not butter that comes from the cow. ~Proverb


When a cow laughs; does milk come out her nose?? ~Author Unknown


There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows. ~Russell Crowe


The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat. ~John McNulty


Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of the field in hopes that the cow will back up to them. ~Elbert Hubbard


Milk the cow; but do not pull off the udder. ~Greek Proverb


I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk. ~Henry Louis Mencken


He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow. ~Italian Proverb


Custard:? A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen; the cow; and the cook. ~Ambrose Bierce


As for butter versus margarine; I trust cows more than chemists. ~Joan Gussow


A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. ~George Bernard Shaw


Whoever needs milk; bows to the animal. ~Yiddish Saying


Tongue - a variety of meat; rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of a dead cow. ~Bob Ekstrom


The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a cow must have in grazing. ~Lord Chesterfield


Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth; with a top speed of 120 feet per second; is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. ~Dave Barry


Opie; you haven't finished your milk. We can't put it back in the cow; you know. ~From The Andy Griffith Show


If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care; then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be; I think; an American cow. ~William Lyon Phelps


I guess cows aren't into the four food groups; especially when they are two of them. ~Anthony Clark


Greatness alone in not enough; or the cow would outrun the hare. ~Proverb


Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young when deprived of them; and; in short; I am not ashamed to profess a deep love for these quiet creatures. ~Thomas de Quincey


All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. ~Grant Wood


A cow is a very good animal in the field; but we turn her out of a garden. ~Samuel Johnson