These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me; they won't make you rebound like me; they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it. ~From a Charles Barkley commercial for basketball shoes; 1993


We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately; all our games are played indoors. ~Weldon Drew


Basketball is the MTV of sports. ~Sara Levinson


When I dunk; I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do. ~Darryl Dawkins


I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air. ~Norm Sloan; on zone defense


You can run a lot of plays when your X is twice as big as the other guys' O. It makes your X's and O's pretty good. ~Paul Westphal


I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet. ~Tom Tolbert


Nothing there but basketball; a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. ~Ogden Nash


The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not. ~Charles Barkley


There are really only two plays:? Romeo and Juliet; and put the darn ball in the basket. ~Abe Lemons


To win; you've got to put the ball in the macram?. ~Terry McGuire


Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first; and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up. ~Red Auerbach


What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?? ~Woody Allen; Annie Hall


"Giving ""Magic"" the basketball is like giving Hitler an army; Jesse James a gang; or Genghis Khan a horse. ~Jim Murray; about Earvin Johnson"


When it's played the way is spozed to be played; basketball happens in the air; flying; floating; elevated above the floor; levitating the way oppressed peoples of this earth imagine themselves in their dreams. ~John Edgar Wideman


I liked the choreography; but I didn't care for the costumes. ~Tommy Tune; on why he never considered playing basketball


If you meet the Buddha in the lane; feed him the ball. ~Phil Jackson


"The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play ""Drop the Handkerchief.""? ~James Naismith"


The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. ~Jerry Tarkanian


This is the second most exciting indoor sport; and the other one shouldn't have spectators. ~Dick Vertleib


Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up; up; up. ~Bill Vaughn


We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line. ~Norm Stewart


Fans never fall asleep at our games; because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass. ~George Raveling


When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia; we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ~George Raveling


I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or; for the thirty-eight years before that; either. ~Dave Barry


You don't play against opponents. You play against the game of basketball. ~Bobby Knight


If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4; I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy. ~Bobby Knight


The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot. ~Bill Russell


"The rule was ""No autopsy; no foul.""? ~Stewart Granger; on the pickup games of his childhood"