I don't think I've ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions; but never before before. ~From the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's; 1961; screenplay by George Axelrod; based on the novella by Truman Capote; spoken by the character Paul Varjak


If you must drink and drive; drink Pepsi. ~Author unknown; as seen on a bumper sticker


Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer; they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself; it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey


Wine is bottled poetry. ~Robert Louis Stevenson


Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune. ~Giuseppe Garibaldi


How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells; it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?? ~Author Unknown


If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows; you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You; compiled by H. Jackson Brown; Jr.


"Remember:? ""I"" before ""E;"" except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown"


Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. ~Ovid


Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway


Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. ~Phyllis Diller


If you drink; don't drive. Don't even putt. ~Dean Martin


One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Lady Astor


Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost. ~Samuel Johnson


A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields


First you take a drink; then the drink takes a drink; then the drink takes you. ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald


If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health; slow your mind; make you fat - in other words; turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O'Rourke


One martini is all right. Two are too many; and three are not enough. ~James Thurber


Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?? ~Robert Benchley


"A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. ""Much obliged;"" said he; pushing the plate aside; ""I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills.""? ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin"


Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. ~From the movie Arthur


If we take habitual drunkards as a class; their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice. The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity. ~Abraham Lincoln; address to the Washington Temperance Society; Springfield; Illinois; 22 February 1842


Once; during Prohibition; I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ~W.C. Fields


Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation. ~Kin Hubbard


A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. ~Author Unknown


Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown


If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk; even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink; the least you can do is to lie down a little while. ~Joseph Schenck


Of the demonstrably wise there are but two:? those who commit suicide; and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. ~Mark Twain; Note-Book; 1935


When the wine is in; the wit is out. ~Proverb


A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown


Even though a number of people have tried; no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. ~Jean Kerr





If drinking is interfering with your work; you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking; you're probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown


O God; that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should; with joy; pleasance; revel; and applause; transform ourselves into beasts!? ~William Shakespeare; Othello


When the wine goes in; strange things come out. ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller; The Piccolomini; 1799


A drunken man is fitly named: he has drank; till he is drunken: the wine swallows his consciousness; and it sinks therein. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare; Guesses at Truth; by Two Brothers; 1827


Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ~Bertrand Russell; The Conquest of Happiness


I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. ~Frank Nicholson; attributed


No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus); Satires


When I read about the evils of drinking; I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman


Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. ~Seneca


I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle; so he won't let himself get snotty about it. ~Raymond Chandler


No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink. ~Lord Chesterton


We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish; but because it is good. ~Horace Hutchinson


Drinking makes such fools of people; and people are such fools to begin with; that it's compounding a felony. ~Robert Benchley


I prefer to think that God is not dead; just drunk. ~John Marcellus Huston


"Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey. ~""Pappy"" Maverick; in Maverick "


This is one of the disadvantages of wine:? it makes a man mistake words for thought. ~Samuel Johnson


Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. ~Knute Rockne


I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake; which I also keep handy. ~W.C. Fields


My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henny Youngman


They speak of my drinking; but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb


Zen martini:? A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin; either. ~P.J. O'Rourke


Draft beer; not people. ~Author Unknown


I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. ~Thomas Jackson


Life's a waste of time; time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life. ~Author Unknown


The harsh; useful things of the world; from pulling teeth to digging potatoes; are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house; but the lovely and useless things; the charming and exhilarating things; are best done by men with; as the phrase is; a few sheets in the wind. ~H.L. Mencken; Prejudices; Fourth Series; 1924


Your body is a temple; but keep the spirits on the outside. ~Author Unknown


Champagne; if you are seeking the truth; is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive; even reckless; while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. ~Graham Greene


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill


It takes 8;460 bolts to assemble an automobile; and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~Author unknown; as seen on a bumper sticker


The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. ~Author Unknown


You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts; but it helps. ~Author Unknown


Brandy; n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning; one part remorse; two parts bloody murder; one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. ~Ambrose Bierce


I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning; that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra


It is most absurdly said; in popular language; of any man; that he is disguised in liquor; for; on the contrary; most men are disguised by sobriety. ~Thomas de Quincy; Confessions of an English Opium-Eater; 1856


The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way; and to be able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin; The Neurotic's Notebook; 1960


Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or; Fun Without Vulgarity; compiled and edited by John R. Kemble; 1902


Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson


I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. ~Oscar Levant


I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver. ~Phil Harris


Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. ~W.H. Davies





Without question; the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh; I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention; but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Benjamin Franklin


I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. ~Don Marquis


If you wish to keep your affairs secret; drink no wine. ~Author Unknown


"Stay busy; get plenty of exercise; and don't drink too much. Then again; don't drink too little. ~Herman ""Jackrabbit"" Smith-Johannsen"


Wine is sunlight; held together by water. ~Galileo


Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. ~Robert Heinlein